Saturday, December 25, 2010

Top 10: Graduated Gangstas (Yearbook Pictures)

My how things change- even for gangstas. Street smart, down and as hard as they wanna be. But you know something? At some point in life they were someone’s grandson.

10. Diddy

Before Diddy there was P-Diddy there was Puffy. Before that there was Puff Daddy. Before that even there was Sean Combs. What was little Sean running from that he had to change his name so many times? I’m guessing it was this picture.

9. Pharell Williams...

Looking like a Samurai with an erasure head haircut, Pharell Williams proved to everyone in the business that stylists are indeed an important part of being famous. It’s just too bad he went from looking like the offspring of Godzilla and Papermate to dressing a little like the Joker.

8. Jay-Z

If anyone ever looked like they didn’t want to be somewhere it was young master Carter here in his (??) graduation picture. Jay-Z never finished high school, so this was as close as we could get to a graduation picture. Maybe he graduated from elementary school and grandma sprang for some pics? Maybe the face is because Jay-Z himself was a little confused by the cap and gown.

7. Snoop

Ranked in one of the Top 10 Most Likable Stoners of All-Time it’s hard to imagine  Snoop looking clean cut- but here is it. This is photo graphic evidence that Snoop Dogg actually did not spring forth from a sensimilla bud and onto MP3 players around the world. He looks a little like he just won a science fair somewhere.

6. Eminem

I’ve had debates about things in the past that had no bearing on anything. One of these is why little Marshal Mathers was so pissed off. Looking a little like the illegitimate son of Sylvester Stallone might have something to do with it. Yo Adrian!

5. Kanye West

Voted most likely to be someone- everyone shakes their head at. Kanye West spent most of his high school career snatching the chalk from teacher’s hands and giving sermons in class. “I don mean no disrespect or nuthin… but Columbus was whack. E’rybody knows that Magellian was the dopest explorer of all time!!!”

4. T.I

T.I. looks like the cover of a cereal box. Seriously. “It’s good for you and tastes good too.” His recent prison stint was neither kid tested nor mother approved however. Look for him to break out big(ger) in the future. I predict bigger things from this guy than we’ve seen from him so far even…. huge.

3. Ice Cube

“I’ll tumble for ya… I’ll tumble for ya… I’ll tumble for ya I’ll tumble for you”. Or wait wait… “Feel the beat of the rythm of the night…”

2. 50 Cent

50 Cent (pronounced Fiddy-Cen) looked like the kind of kid that you just couldn’t trust. IN FACT he looks like the kid that stole my bike.

1. Lil Jon

“How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?” You can ask Mr. Owl or Lil John. Late bloomers with latent smooth potential… bet NO ONE saw it coming.

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