Kid Rock to Steven Tyler: You're an Idiot

American Idol fans may be torn on new judge Steven Tyler, but Kid Rock has made it very clear what he thinks of this rocker's decision to join the show.
"I think it's the stupidest thing he's ever done in his life," the Detroit native told Entertainment Weekly.

Kid says he loves the Aerosmith front man "to death," but adds:

"He's a sacred American institution of rock 'n roll and he just threw it all out the window. Just stomped on it and set it on fire... I think whoever's advising him, we should bring back the guillotine or whatever they call that thing. And if it was himself, he needs some serious counseling."

Mel Gibson Denied Access to Daughter on Birthday

Mel Gibson won't be able to spend a second with his baby girl Lucia tomorrow on her first birthday, after being shut down by the judge in their custody case.
The actor gets Lucia today but is supposed to return her to Oksana Grigorieva in the afternoon. The issue is that Mel's primary nanny is out sick this morning.
As such, Mel asked the judge for permission to return Lucia Saturday. No dice.

Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva are in an all-out war over custody.

Team Oksana objected, arguing Mel has another nanny who is perfectly capable of transporting Lucia. She already feels Mel already has too much visitation.
In the end, the judge kept the status quo, which means Mel must return Lucia this evening. He's testifying Monday in their case. All we're wondering here is ...

Heidi Montag's Mom Now Working as Maid

Earlier this week, we heard from Audrina Patridge's mom, Lynn, who drunkenly declared that her class act daughter's a star who's "going to f*%king rise!"
Other Hills moms aren't feeling so enthusiastic about the future.
Darlene Egelhoff, who famously disapproved of daughter Heidi Montag's plastic surgery (and husband, and lifestyle) on the show, is now estranged from her. She's also fallen on hard times and is battling to make ends meet.

Darlene Egelhoff with Speidi in happier times.

After her restaurant closed after 21 years, Egelhoff now cleans houses as a maid in her native Crested Butte, Colo., she told Inside Edition Thursday.
Egelhoff admits some of her clients recognize her from The Hills.
"That's very humbling for me and I appreciate it because I don’t ever want to get full of myself and think I’m too good to do anything," Darlene says.
The reality mom says she hasn't spoken to or seen Heidi Montag since she debuted her new face/body in a tense visit to Crested Butte on The Hills.
That was more than nine months ago. Egelhoff has even launched a personal blog, Metamorphosis of a Mother, in the hopes of Montag reading it.
This assumes Heidi can even read, but we admire the effort.
Darlene's website calls itself "A mother’s support and encouragement blog focused on personal growth, self discovery, igniting passions, happiness, faith, adventure and the importance of an identity apart from our children."
Heidi, just wait until Spencer Pratt runs an errand and call her already. We know he's probably got surveillance cameras on you at all times, but still. Take a risk. Life's too short to distance yourselves from the ones you love.

Jersey Shore Reunion Recap: No Fist-Pumps Here

Those hoping for major fireworks or knock-down, drag-out brawls on the Jersey Shore Season 2 reunion special last night came away sorely disappointed.
On some reality shows, the reunion special is the best part. It's when Teresa Giudice flips tables and labels Danielle Staub a prostitution whores. Not here.
These people are all flirting with prostitution whore status, too. Anyway, here's THG's usual +/- recap of last night. Aww yeah, reunion show recap YEAH!!

There's no love lost between Ron and JWoww after The Note.

One could argue this show is depressing, and that its cast is a bunch of losers who reflect badly on our society. Or one could say It's T-shirt tiiiiiime!! Plus 7.

Could host Julissa Bermudez be more robotic? They should have gotten Angelina Pivarnick to host without the cast knowing. We'd pay to see that. Minus 5.

Speaking of Ange, Ronnie had one of the best Jersey Shore quotes last night: "How could you not smush if you get Fossil watch? And it was white!" Plus 9.

With a few exceptions, we basically got a clip show of Season 2 debauchery, with surprisingly little in the way of original fireworks. In a word, eh. Minus 8.

Sitch to Sam: "Regardless of who wrote the note, who didn't write it, who told you in person, the only person you could possibly be mad at was Ron." Plus 4.

Sitch to Ron: "Do you love that girl? Then you should be thanking me, because I'm the only one who goes up and talks to her when she's crying." Plus 4.

Yeah, Ronnie and Sammi are still together. Minus 13.

Vinny and Pauly put the VP in MVP. Or just VP.

Vinny and Pauly D seem somewhat genuine, despite their flaws. The other idiots seem like HGH-fueled caricatures of themselves at this point. Minus 10.
Ron claimed J-Woww offered to hook up with him if Sammi hooked up with Sitch. JWoww responded: "I'd rather just f--k Pauly." We can see that. Plus 5.
When footage played of Sitch's attempted robbery, Vinny declared: "It might be MVP to him, but it's VP to me." Ooooh, that's gotta burn, Sitch. Plus 4.
Number of times The Situation said situation? We have no idea, we lost count, since we were taking a shot each time. But it's awesomely high. Plus 6.
Deleted scenes: Snooki farts a lot, etc. Zzz. Minus 3.
Until Season Three of Jersey Shore begins ...

TOTAL: Even. SEASON TOTAL: +143.

Kim Kardashian and Miles Austin: Standing Together?

Sometimes u have to fall down to know where u stand.
Such sage words were Tweeted by Miles Austin this week. Was the Cowboys wide receiver referring to his team's dismal record, which sits at 1-5 and has Dallas unlikely to make the playoffs?
Or might it have been a shout-out to ex-girlfriend Kim Kardashian, who replied on her Twitter account: Those are some pretty wise words, followed by - gasp! - a winking smiley face!

Might Miles Austin be looking to score again with Kim Kardashian... off the field?!? [Photo: Pacific Coast News]

Kim has been spotted out with John Mayer and Kanye West over the last couple weeks, but insists neither is an option for romance.

“There are rumors that I’m dating a bunch of people right now," she told OK! Weekly at her fragrance launch in NYC. "If I’m out with some of my friends, I’m automatically dating them. You just have to kind of ignore them and live your life.”

As for a rekindled relationship with Austin? We have our doubts about what these Tweets mean. After all, standing is rarely the position Kim is in when it comes to professional athletes.

Vicki Gunvalson: Hospitalized for Bleeding

Vicki Gunvalson has been hospitalized with internal bleeding.
The Real Housewives of Orange County cast member - filed for divorce from husband Donn last week - will remain under doctor care for further tests today, as professionals try to discover the source of the problem.
We wish her a speedy recovery and will update this story as more details come in.

Will Ashley Greene Corrupt Joe Jonas?

Everything seems fine and dandy for Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas, right? They couple has been spotted holding hands and kissing in recent days, while the former even accompanied the latter to South America this week.
“Oh My gosh! Just landed in Bogota and was met with lots of love and screams from fans! You guys are So amazing! Thanks for the warm welcome!” the actress tweeted on Wednesday.

So, what's the problem? Joe's mother has a small beef with Greene: she fears the Twilight Saga star will corrupt her religious, clean son!

“She’s edgier and older than Joe’s other girlfriends and his mom isn’t thrilled about the situation," a source tells Hollywood Life.

In the past, Joe reportedly controlled his love life. This included dalliances with Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato and Camilla Belle. But "Ashley’s the one leading the relationship," an insider says now, going on about the fears of Denise Jonas:

“They’ve instilled really moral believes in their boys, and Joe has always been the one to push the envelope a little bit. Denise knows her boys are heartthrobs, but she’s kind of nervous of the way Ashley has Joe wrapped around her finger.”

That isn't the major concern, of course. Considering the purity ring donned by this singer, Mrs. Jonas is likely more worried about Ashley wrapping herself around a different body part.

Will Amber Portwood Lose Her Baby?

Teen Mom star Amber Portwood is going through a lot right now.
She's been involved in numerous violent altercations with fiance Gary Shirley, and there have even been reports that she's suicidal and/or losing her baby.
Not the case, she says. ”It’s not true!” she tells Hollywood Life regarding the rumors that she's losing Leah. “Where in the world would that come from?”

Gary Shirley and Amber Portwood enjoy a tender moment between fights.

Amber says Leah is staying with Gary, yes, but because she's in the process of moving. It's not safe while she searches for a baby-friendly home.
“I’m in the process of moving, so my stuff is all packed up,” she explains. “Gary does have Leah right now because it’s not safe in my house now.”
Especially since she kicks Gary Shirley's ass so regularly.
Despite the drama, Amber Portwood sounds like she’s ready to leave it behind. Literally. “I can’t wait to move out of Anderson!” she says of her Indiana hometown. As long as there are psychiatrists where she ends up, we support the move.

Capri Anderson and Charlie Sheen: Before the Rampage...

Prior to Charlie Sheen causing thousands of dollars worth of damages to a NYC hotel room, threatening the life of Capri Anderson and then getting hospitalized for psychiatric evaluation on Tuesday morning, he and his friends appeared to be having drunken fun at a restaurant.
We have the photos to prove it.

According to reports, Anderson was on hand because Sheen paid $12,000 for her services, although he's yet to actually shell the money out.

The porn star has threatened to take legal action against the actor, but courts - along with CBS viewers - haven't cared much in the past about Sheen's actions. We doubt anything will be done about them now.

For more photos of this wasted pair, visit TMZ. To express your disgust for Sheen, hit the Comments button below!

THG on TV: From Desperate Housewives to The Vampire Diaries...

Charlie Sheen got wasted this week and threatened the life of a porn star. That kind of thing takes up almost all of our time at THG.
Fortunately, our friends at TV Fanatic have the small screen world covered. Click on the following links to get caught up now...

• ON SUNDAY... Bree had tons of sex on Desperate Housewives, while Dexter actually made us sleepy.
• ON MONDAY... Freddy Kruerger showed up on Chuck, while a friend of Kono's was found dead on Hawaii Five-0.
• ON TUESDAY... Glee honored The Rocky Horror Picture Show, while Abby got very involved in a case on NCIS.
• ON WEDNESDAY... Cheerleaders were auction off on Hellcats. 
• ON THURSDAY... Stefan and Damon plotted to kill Katherine on The Vampire Diaries, while a rape took place on Private Practice.

Relationship Between Danielle Staub and Lori Michaels Deemed "Physical, Complicated"

In July, we asked whether Lori Michaels was the girlfriend or the publicity pawn of Danielle Staub. Turns out, the answer lies somewhere in between.
Sources tell Radar Online that the insane former Real Housewife and the openly gay singer were never an official item - but they did get "physical" together (yech!) and they did have a "connection."
"Lori was never going to put herself in a place where she was going to run away with Danielle," says the insider. "It became a complicated relationship."

Interesting. Tell us more, anonymous source!

"Lori doesn't do crazy. It's been a series of things. The truth is they both tried to make the relationship work on many levels... Danielle does her thing and Lori does hers. Lori appreciates the goodness when Danielle was able to give it, and I'm sure she appreciates what Lori has done."

What Lori did, of course, was enable Staub to extend her 15 minutes of fame and exploit the gay community in a despicable manner.

What caused the pair to go their separate ways? "The Danielle Staubness," this acquaintance says, concluding:

"Danielle's an all-or-nothing person and maybe it'll have to be the nothing because Lori's not dealing with the all."

Eli and Abby Manning: Expecting!

New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning will become a dad next year.
His wife, Abby, is expecting their first child! Sources say the couple is "so happy and excited." Eli married the former Abby McGrew, his college sweetheart, in 2008.
"Eli is being very protective of Abby, as it is still early days," says a source. "Very few people knew. Abby is only a few months along and isn't really showing."

Eli and Abby Manning are about to be parents!

In May of last year, Eli and Abby announced they would bankroll a new birthing center for natural childbirth and holistic care at St. Vincent's Hospital.
Manning said at the time, "We wanted to make it a special place to bring new life into the world." The signal-caller added, "We're enjoying being married right now."
"There's no exact plan, but we do plan on starting a family in the future."
This past August, he gushed about Abby to the New York Post: "I think a marriage, if you get the right one, it definitely works well, 'cause you can stay focused on your job ... She's there to support me, and just try to lift the spirits."
"She is laid-back ... but she kinda knows when to get serious and when to be hard on me or keeps me in a straight line, which I like," Eli Manning said.
Congratulations to the expectant couple!

Oksana to Mel: You're in Contempt, Deadbeat!

Oksana Grigorieva claims that Mel Gibson is in contempt of court by not coughing up more child support. He could be facing jail time if a judge agrees.
The Russian musician’s legal team filed the legal motion Thursday, asking a Los Angeles judge to order him to pay $20,000 a month in child support.
The couple shares a daughter, Lucia, who turns one tomorrow. Mel is not allowed to see her on her birthday. Now Oksana would like him in jail, too.

If found guilty at a November 10 hearing, Mel could be jailed.

“For three consecutive months, Mel paid Oksana between $5,000 and $10,000 each month, it varies, but either way, it is well short of what a judge instructed he must deliver the mother of his child," says a source close to the case.
Her now-ex-lawyer Lisa Bloom said last month that “Mel Gibson is a deadbeat dad at this point” for not complying with an order to pay Oksana $20,000 a month.
Why not just pay it?
For his part, Me has been refusing to write the full check until the judge rules on a dispute over the Sherman Oaks home he owns and Oksana and Lucia live in.
Mel wants $6,000 deducted from the monthly figure for rent.
In any case, Mel is being deposed in the couple's custody battle next week. He will not be asked about domestic violence against Oksana, or the alleged extortion she committed against him, both of which are being investigated separately.

Camille Grammer Feels "Completely Abandoned" by Kelsey

For someone who describes herself as a "very private person," Camille Grammer is doing a lot of public talking these days.
The Real Housewife of Beverly Hills is especially open about ex-husband Kesley Grammer, who left her soon after she agreed to a role on the Bravo reality series. In an interview with People, Camille says it's lucrative "cathartic" to discuss the divorce, as she does in detail via the following excerpts...

How did she learn she'd been dumped?
In June I got a phone call from a mutual friend in New York who was upset by behavior of his that she'd seen... I texted him again and he wrote: "I don't want to talk." I wrote, "We've been together for 14 years; I deserve an explanation." Finally, three hours later, he called me. He basically said, "I don't want to be married anymore."
How did she react?
I asked him if there was anything we could work on. I offered to go to therapy. Having children, I wasn't ready to throw in the towel. But his mind was already made up. I started crying and he said, "Oh, grow up." I said, "What about our children?" and he said, "They'll get over it." It was harsh.
How does she feel now?
I feel completely abandoned. I feel dismissed. This all happened very quickly for me. We don't even speak. He doesn't want to. For me, having two children together, it's very important that the two of us communicate. He only wants to communicate via e-mail, through our lawyers or a therapist who acts as a mediator.
How have the kids reacted?
They still don't realize he's not coming back. They think their daddy is busy doing a play. I'm trying to work with them on the concept that he's not going to come home the way they think he is.

Joni Kilmurry: Dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy!

Joni Kilmurry is reportedly dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy, making her the envy of millions of female Dancing With the Stars fans everywhere.
Maksim has been heating up the floor with Brandy this season, but away from the ballroom, things are sizzling for him too, thanks to Joni.
He stepped out with the new lady in his life at the FIJI Water Presents NIKKI & RICH event at the Puma Social Club in Los Angeles Oct. 27.

Joni Kilmurry: Model. Stylist. Girlfriend of Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

According to Joni Kilmurry's MySpace page, she's 28 and states that she has worked internationally in the fashion industry for more than 10 years.
Maksim was once engaged to fellow Dancing With the Stars pro Karina Smirnoff, and was linked romantically to Erin Andrews last season as well.
Here's hoping he and Joni are and continue to be happy together!

Shape Apologizes For LeAnn Rimes Cover

Not a good day for the women of Eddie Cibrian.
First, his ex-wife, Brandi Glanville, was popped for DUI. Then Shape just issued a strong rebuke of itself for putting LeAnn Rimes on the cover recently.
Rimes, of course, cheated on her own husband, Dean Sheremet, with Eddie Cibrian, who was married to Brandi at the time. Shape readers? Unhappy.

LeAnn Rimes works out a lot. But some readers felt she was an inappropriate cover choice, given the choices she made in her personal life. Editors now agree.

Editor-in-chief Valerie Latona sent this email to angry Shape readers:
"You are all in good company (why I'm e-mailing you all together) as you all agree Shape has made a terrible mistake in putting LeAnn Rimes on the cover."
"Please know that our putting her on the cover was not meant to put a husband-stealer on a pedestal but to show (through her story) we all are human."
"This woman in particular found strength in exercise in what she said was her most difficult personal moment. But it did not come across that way."
"For that I'm terribly sorry. I hope that we can do better the next time for those of you that will give us another chance. Humbly, Valerie Latona."
You have to credit Shape for making the effort to reach out to its readers, and it probably wasn't the best choice, given all the drama last year.
She sucks at parenting, too, according to Brandi. Although Glanville may want to rethink criticizing her in the future after this whole DUI thing.

Bizarre Behavior: Charlie Sheen Allegedly Shouts N Word, Cakes Face in Cocaine

New details are emerging on Charlie Sheen's raucous, drug-fueled night inside a New York City restaurant and hotel room this week - and they make the actor look even more pathetic, if that's possible.
As previously reported and pictured, Sheen started the night at an establishment called Daniel. He drank and dined with friends and acquaintances, including porn star/call girl Capri Anderson.

Three days after his NYC rampage, Charlie Sheen was back in Los Angeles, telling reporters he is "excellent."

At one point, a source revealed to Radar Online, the actor "convinced Capri to go to the bathroom with him." From there:
"He started snorting cocaine and then took off his pants. Charlie wanted to have sex with Capri and tried but she stopped him and demanded her $12,000. He didn't have the money on him so she left him in the bathroom!"
When Sheen didn't come back to the table with his date, his assistant went to the bathroom, opened the door and...
"There was Charlie standing there naked with cocaine all over his face!" the source said. "He was delusional and just completely lost. Totally out of it."
But that's not all! It's been well-documented that Sheen and Anderson made it back to his room at the Plaza, only for the former to flip out over his missing wallet and watch. Capri locked herself in the bathroom out of fear. Sheen's reaction?
"He was punching the walls of the hotel room and going crazy and shouting 'n**ger, n**ger, n**ger for no reason at all," the insider says.
We can't verify this report, of course. But would anything shock you about Sheen at this point?

THG Caption Contest: Ashton-Demi Style!

Welcome to another edition of THG's Caption Contest!
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have been in the news a lot lately (thanks, Brittney Jones), but at least in public, have put on a united front throughout.
What's the actor saying to his wife here, and vice versa?

Just come up with the best caption(s) for this photo, click "Comments" and fire away. Leave one. Leave 10. We'll announce a winner Monday. Go to it: